Sunday, October 16, 2005

better off whirling

People like Whirling Betty are apparently better off busy. Over the past few days I've had a ridiculous work schedule. During that time I was able to mindlessly (or with an empty mind, maybe, if I may so flatter myself) move from task to task, not stirring up any trouble.

Today I have a few hours off before going back to work. I expected that this time would be a welcome relief, but I couldn't have been more mistaken.

First of all, being the mother of a young child, I was not allowed to sleep past 7 a.m. Furthermore, the child is sick with some kind of childhood fever-producing virus-type thing. My main goal, during this time at home, is somehow preventing him from vomiting. Talking him out of eating has worked so far.

Midmorning I was surprised by a phone call from TA, who often sleeps late when given the opportunity. The ensuing conversation summoned a lifelong issue for Whirling Betty- that of insecurity. I have a tendency to be too easily thrown off course by people's "attacks".

Still being on my Krishnamurti kick, I think I know what he'd have to offer on this topic. He'd suggest that the problem boils down to self-image. If the self-image is truly accurate, then criticism doesn't hurt- it's merely accepted as fact. The truth shall render us invulnerable.

I think I am guilty of harboring a mythical self-image, and obviously some serious self-examination is called for.

But luckily for me, I get to leave for work soon, and Whirling Betty's off the hook for a little while longer.


garnet david said...

As usual, your verbal flair cuts to the chase. The fact that you are facing a deeply imbedded issue with such dignity is very encouraging.

Betty said...

Thanks, Garnet. Now I'm back from work and no longer "off the hook" so I'd better get busy, eh?

taikochan said...

I wonder... I know some people who are utterly impervious to attacks from others, but because they are self-centered and just don't give a damn about people. Some people are vulnerable because they don't know themselves, and some because they care deeply about how they affect other people.

Morris said...

I hope your child gets better soon!

Mr. Morris
Ask Morris

Betty said...

Hi Taikochan,
As expected, your comment is thought-provoking, and I'm trying to figure out which category i fall into! Thank you.

Betty said...

Hi Mr. Morris,
My child's illnes has meandered through the repertoire of typical sick child symptoms, and now it's settling on fever, cough,congestion and intestinal distress. He has yet to return to school. Thanks for your concern.