I have always considered myself independent. To me, independence means "financially self-supporting." I've been that for a long time. And I've lived alone until my child came along to share my house. And since I own that house, I must be REALLY independent, right?
Well, I'm learning that there are levels of independence. If I ever alter my words, chameleon style, to suit the person I'm speaking with, then am I independent?
If I allow another person to manipulate me, am I independent? If I take steps to help another person out of a mess that he's gotten himself into, even though I see that he deserves the consequence I'm saving him from, and even though he has bullied me consistently, am I independent? Or might I be participating in the dance of co-dependence?
I wish to be true to myself, but instead I react to the personalities I'm dealing with. I act not out of independence, but out of dependence upon the behaviors, personalities and desires of those around me.
Do I possess the strength to pull myself out of this spiraling whirlpool in which my self melds with other people's dramas? Can I do my job as a mother, regardless of tears and tantrums? Can I stand up to the father/bully, hiring a lawyer to assist? Can I set boundaries with the neighbor, not falling for his persistent needling?
I'll keep ya posted. Happy Independence Day.