Thursday, June 12, 2008

first, the good news....

I'm alive, first of all. Most of us seem to fear death, so being alive must be a really good thing. The Child had an overnight guest last night, and we went into the ravine outside of our house this morning.

Boys seem to be drawn to creeks. My role was to constantly warn of poison ivy and slippery rocks.

We made our way down to the ponds, where I heard crickets chirping in the field. The crickets meant nothing to them, but their chirping was significant to me because it reminded me of home- the home which doesn't exist anymore. When I was growing up in upstate NY, we used to hang out in the cow pasture at the edge of the cemetery. It was inhabited with crickets. To me, it isn't summer until I've heard the crickets chirp.

I am homesick for the home which doesn't exist.

We walked through the rose garden on our way back to the house. The formal rose garden is in full bloom. That's good news, apparently to a lot of people, judging from the number of visitors. This, by the way, is my front yard. How strange to have a public front yard.

Here's a bird's eye view. Don't ask.

And now it's time to start the bad news segment. Remember this house which I made an offer on last month? Another party made an offer that same day. It went into contract. Still, I kept hoping.

It's sold.

This is obviously the last time I'm going to post a photo of this house. I thought of it as mine, but it's gone.

I couldn't resist this shot of the house's back porch. The ink on the deed hasn't even dried yet and they've already trashed the place. Not clearly visible in this shot on the porch floor are the remains of an apparent beer blast. I tell myself that I wouldn't have treated this house that way.

That's not the only bad news. The organization I have worked for since college shut down on June 1. Not a good time to buy a house, you say. Actually, it was. I was going to pay cash for the house using a HELOC loan. That loan then would have been paid off upon the sale of my current house. Then at least I wouldn't have had a mortgage debt!

I am not job searching. Why? There are no openings anywhere in the country. Jobs are extremely scarce and competitive in this field. I choose not to give details of what field I'm in because it's a very public type of work and annonymity in blogging is wise because of that. It's been difficult for me to not write about it, though.


Laurie said...

Boys and water....yep, I know that
all to well.

That just stinks! You should have
gotten that house! I bet if the
former owner saw it they'd flip
out big time!

So glad all is well there.


Loving Annie said...

Very sorry to hear about the house that should have been yours being trashed already, and the job situation...

The rose garden in your front yard is beautiful beyond words...

You said you miss your childhood home. I think it is the way you FELT about your home and its environs that you yearn for, Betty.

And that FEELING can be recreated elsewhere, even if the house itself is structurally different...

I say still keep believing in your dreams and working towards them. A set back isn't a permanent situation.

I think you WILL have a house that is a home you love one day.

How long before you have to start looking for work - or move somewhere where work is more readily available ?

Nancy said...

The upside ... as I was reading along, I thought how your not getting "the house" wasn't so bad when you have all this beauty around your current home. Then I got to the part where you are sad to see the deal was sealed.

Something is waiting for you ahead ... and it will be better. =)

I'm sorry about the job. I have been at mine for almost 23 years and I worry everyday that I won't have it ... sign of the times ... I work for a small independent family owned business.

Betty said...

Dear Laurie,

All is well as long as I focus on the positives and remain in denial of my employment status.

Yep, I don't think the former house owner would be too thrilled. Look how upset I was, and it was never even my house!


Betty said...

Dear Annie,

Your words about the feeling of home are very wise. I feel betrayed by the city I live in, because what happened with my workplace was very wrong. Home is definitely not here, no matter how many roses bloom!

There are rumors of a job opening on the west coast, which I'd probably be able to apply for when it's officially announced in a few months. Meanwhile, I am preparing for it- there's a lot I can do now. Many people from all over the world will be going after that job. I have little choice but to stay put for the time being- there's no job opening anywhere right now.


Betty said...

Dear Nancy,

I hope you don't end up in the same boat I'm in, and if you do, I hope you have other opportunities. All I can do is wait for an opening somewhere. I believe that I'm meant to work in this field. Of course, after a point I may have to give up and become a waitress or a cashier....


Lynilu said...

Oh, Betty, what will you do about a job? Would there be jobs elsewhere? My head just spun around when you said you're not looking because there aren't any jobs. Yikes! If you're not worried, then I am for you! I'm so sorry you in this spot.

And the house .... I'm sorry about that, too. It's hard to see something you wanted so much just float past you, especially when it is in a sea of sad treatment.

Here's another dumb question .... could you return to college, take a few courses and prepare yourself for another career? Sometimes a change is good, anyway.

Good luck in all of it, dear girl. I'm sending hugs to you in hopes that it will help you get through this with minimal distress. :)

Big Dave T said...

I liked your pictures. You do reside in a outdoor greenhouse and for that you should be thankful. But it's a bummer about the job and the house. Change is inevitable in life. Let's just hope you have some change for the better soon.

Betty said...

Dear Lynilu,

Thanks you for your concern. There may be job openings in other countries, and if I were on my own (no child) I might consider that.

The college option doesn't appeal to me because I liked what I was doing. I'm stubborn, maybe unreasonably so- we'll see. Eventually there will be openings in the U.S. The only catch is that hundreds of qualified people will apply! Yeah, that's daunting.


Betty said...

Dear Big Dave,

Yeah, I remember hearing once that change is the only thing we can be sure of, or soemthing to that effect. I guess I'm seeing the truth in nthat saying.

OK, so I'm now ready for more change!


Mary Ann said...

Love the photos with the water. I understand about crickets. Love that sound.

Betty said...

Dear Mary Ann,

I think that later in the summer the crickets will be heard everywhere- for now, they're only audible near the ponds. Sounds can have strong associations, apparently.


Kacey said...

I still think your current house, with it's beautiful gardens, stream, ponds and all is wonderful. How can you take those pictures and not see how much more beautiful your location is that most of the houses in the world? I guess if those rotten people continue to trash you dream home, eventually you will stop loving it. Sorry, Betty.

Betty said...

Dear Kacey,

I have let go of the dream home. I liked it because I'd be able to live there without a car (and without a mortgage). And it was a few blocks from my son's school.

I certainly do see the beauty near the current house, and I take the photos to convince myself that I'm better off here. Anyway, it's a non-issue now. I'm staying put until the bank repossesses the house or I get the job on the west coast which I just found out about, whichever happens first.


Monogram Queen said...

Madison is drawn to water - and mud. To be such a girly-girl she sure loves it.
I am still so very sorry about the house. I love the rose garden though. What in the world are you going to do about a job? You are in my heart Betty, you and the Child.

Anonymous said...