Sunday, February 24, 2008

Destiny

This is what dusk looked like just outside of my house tonight. Not a bad view. Yet I scheme to change it. My mind obsesses perpetually over how I might move to a Victorian house near downtown.

Perhaps if my sister had a view like this, she wouldn't be in the pickle she's in now, facing a 10-hour surgery on March 18. Her jaw will be broken surgically so that the cancerous tumor at the base of her tongue can be excavated. Her neck will be sliced open to remove lymph nodes. She will be given a feeding tube and a breathing apparatus. This week she's been having all of her teeth extracted in preparation for this surgery.

I've known her all my life. Things never really went her way. I have a photo of her all dressed up at age 17- she looked like a movie star. Instead of Movie Star, she became (Pregnant) Teen Bride, then Young Divorcee, then Chaos Personified.

I don't remember her having a period of peace. Ever.

She is smart and talented. She sent me this card which she made this week:


I try, foolishly, to make sense of it all. Where did this cancer come from? When my mother died of cancer I asked the same questions. I ask the questions so that I can avoid the answers. If the answer is that the cancer came from loneliness, then I don't want to be lonely. If it came from sadness then I don't want to be sad. If it came from dissatisfaction then I don't want to be dissatisfied. If it came from not being true to oneself, then I don't want to not be true to myself.

Here is a closeup of the stamp my sister placed strategically in the center of the card:



20 comments:

Big Dave T said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. A lot of our mutual blogging buddies seem to be winding down, in hiatus, or something like that.

I do wish I would have seen a warmer weather picture here. I'm so sick of the cold and snow here in Michigan. And they're predicting more, lots more, tomorrow.

Sorry to hear about your sister. I used to work in a Otolaryngology department so I'm kinda familiar with the surgery she will undergo. I will say, it's amazing what skilled head and neck surgeons can do battling cancer in this day and age.

Betty said...

Dear Dave,

Thanks for visiting, and for your encouraging words about my sister's surgery. I don't run into many people who have any experience with this sort of problem.

And don't worry- spring is around the corner, even in Michigan. I don't envy you though. I promise I'll be posting photos of spring before you know it.

Hugs,
Betty

Priyamvada_K said...

Take care, dear Betty. You and Donna are in my thoughts. May Donna find healing, and peace.

Priya.

Betty said...

Dear Priya,

Thank you for checking in with your positive wishes. I ,too, hope she finds the peace she never had before.

Hugs,
Betty

Patti said...

I am very sorry for your sisters travails. We have faced cancer in our family also. Sometimes with good results more ofteh with bad.
Peace & blessings unto you and yours.

Betty said...

Dear Patti,

Thanks for stopping by! I'm sorry to hear that your family has gone through this.

Hugs,
Betty

SweetAnnee said...

OH my goodness honey..
I am so gonna pray for your
sister. You know I am
battling cancer right now
but I feel fortunate , compared
to what your sister has to go
through. I hate cancer!!
Cancer
loves, sadness, depression, stress
all the bad things in life..SO CELEBRATE
JOYS each day!!
and keep praying.
love in Him..Deena

Daisy said...

I am sorry to hear about your sister. Healing thoughts and peace to you and your sister.

Daisy said...

What a beautiful view from your home!!

That is a very pretty card your sister made for you.

Betty said...

Dear Deena,

Your name is close to my sister's (she's Donna). Thank you for your prayers. It really is all relative isn't it? I'm glad you feel fortunate!

Hugs,
Betty

surjit said...

Dear Betty,
Many thanks for your welcome message, words of appreciation and
for visiting my blog.
You have mentioned in your profile that you are a loner. I think you are not.God is always by your side.please try to feel His Presence.
My best wishes for your sister for her speedy recovery.
God bless.

Sideways Chica said...

My dear, dear Whirling Betty...just the "matter of fact" descriptive tone of your sister's surgery speaks volumes to me. I feel your pain and your fear and your desires...and your anger.

You are human chica...we all are. Alas, I fear that is the conundrum we all face.

I send you my best...inclusive of lots of hugs and good wishes for you and your sister. May she heal physically and emotionally.May all your dreams come to fruition.

Ciao bella...

Betty said...

Dear Daisy,

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and words. And thank you for visiting!

Hugs,
Betty

Betty said...

Dear Surjit,

Your words are very reassuring and welcome.

Thank you!

Hugs,
Betty

Betty said...

Dear Teri,

It's so good to see you right now. You know me well, don't you! Thank you for your support- it means a lot.

Hugs,
Betty

Lynilu said...

Betty, thanks for your visit at my blog. I've read several of your posts, and have enjoyed them.

I'm very sorry about your sister, but be positive about it all. I worked for Otolaryngolgists over about 15 years, and as Big Dave T says, there is so much that can be done these days.

Hugs to you and your sis, also. :)

Betty said...

Thank you, Lynilu- it's great to hear from people like you and Big Dave who have worked in Otolarngology. I think being positive really is the best approach, so I'll go with that!

Hugs,
Betty

My Kids Mom said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. You will all be in my prayers and I will be sending lots of positive happy thoughts your way! Praying for a speedy recovery for your sister.

Betty said...

Dear My Kids Mom,

Thank you for stopping by and offering your support.

Hugs,
Betty

Anonymous said...

滿..................................................