Sunday, November 19, 2006

a spiritual question

No doubt, some of us are more spiritually oriented than others. I, for one, used to harbor some mighty lofty ideals until my child came onto the scene. Then real life set in. Navigating through each day became my loftiest goal. The spiritual life would have to wait.

Then, a few days ago, I decided that one of the things which could improve my life right now might be a little dose of spirituality. On Monday, I set out to re-establish daily meditation, for starters. Next I signed up to receive daily inspirational quotes via internet from a favorite "guru." I hauled out my top ten spiritual books and started reading.

On a roll, I realized that there was one particular book I must have. I knew exactly where to find it: there's a very eclectic bookstore situated in a large 80-year-old house nearby. Something memorable usually happens to me when I go there, and today was no exception.

First of all, miraculously, when I opened the creaky old door and walked in, the first thing I saw upon entering was the very book I had desired. As I paid for it, the cashier and I wandered into a discussion of the power of intent, a popular topic these days and appropriate considering the magical positioning of that book. I told her I had no problem believing in our ability to determine the course of our lives with our thoughts and spoken words, but I said I was stuck on one aspect. She wanted me to elaborate, and I said I wasn't sure what I really wanted. I do believe I have power to materialize my desires, yet I can't figure out what they are!

I explained my dilemma regarding whether or not I should move to the urban neighborhood (which I've already blogged about ad nauseum). Is it really best for myself and my child to move there? I can't tell!

This bookstore is no Barnes and Noble- it's more like a library, where a tacit call for reverence prevails. So I whispered to her, bending over closer to her ear, "I DESPISE suburbs!" in the most emphatic whisper that I thought the store could tolerate.

She looked at me for several seconds, stunned. "I thought you said you lacked clarity!? You just spoke to me loud and clear about your desire. It couldn't be more clear to I'm getting goosebumps....this happens to me whenever I'm involved in a profound spiritual interaction...oh, my, now I'm starting feel really hot....this is very significant..."

I left the store wondering, like the dutiful doubting betty that I am, whether I had finally been given a sign. Should I just shut up and go with it, and set out to visualize my Victorian house downtown, or was this a trick, played out by two bumbling seekers trying desperately to make sense out of the universe?


Trée said...

Betty, I've often felt that bookstores, especially old ones in old houses like I used to visit in New Orleans, were my meditation hall. Why I don't quit my job and open a bookstore is beyond me.

Betty said...

Dear Tree,
Barnes and Noble is probably the reason you haven't opened your own bookstore. Those mega booksellers have put most of the private shops, so full of character, out of business, I'm told. Still, I think it would be great if you tried to make a go of it. The one near my house is still in business! All it takes is a miracle.


Kelley Bell said...

You got your answer, but then second guess.

What do you feel when you get a sign from spirit?

Why can you not accept such gifts?

Look there, in your feelings to find the root.

That's my humble suggestion anyway.

Take Care.

Betty said...

Dear Kelley,
It seems that I allow my thoughts to ruin those gifts. I had goosebumps too, when the cashier said she had them, but I couldn't acknowledge that for some reason. It's as if my mind is out to ruin everything! That's why this week I decided that daily meditation is called for in my life. I just can't let my mind keep running amok like this.

Interestingly, your comment could have come right out of that book I just bought! Thank you for your wisdom.


Sideways Chica said...

Well...perhaps the Doubting Betty will reincarnate once again into Whirling Betty.

But the way, I never doubted you and your clarity. You have been very open about your desire. Finances have a way of planting the seeds of doubt and justification.

Your power of intent has always been aimed at the good for you and the child. It all starts with happiness of the soul.

Ciao bella...go forth and feed your soul the nourishment it desires. Easier said than done, and easier for me to say...but as I am on the same journey, I will try to listen and apply my own advice. ;)

Betty said...

Dear Teri,
I think you summed it up well. Finances do matter, unfortunately, and my desired area is quite pricey. Still, I believe there is a chance it could work out, if my house sells high enough. I will go forth, as you suggest, and see what happens. I'm just glad that my dream is still alive. Thank you for your undying support!


garnet david said...

Perhaps the real answer has nothing to do with what's the right answer, it's all about whether you are ready for the answer.

Betty said...

Dear Garnet,
Well, I'm more ready all the time, if only because I'm sick of floundering with the same topic. But I do have to be ready to go out on a limb and take a risk of doing something off the beaten path. I've been wimpy thus far, too lazy to bother changing my situation, perhaps.


Lisa said...


Thank you for posting your comment on my blog! It was so nice of you to stop by!

I guess you're looking for input, so here goes! I think you should just move. The desire is in you for a reason. And if you're not happy in the place that you call home, how can you be fulfilled in life? A "home" is the most personal possession that we own. It harbours our dreams, our realities, our love of family and friends, our love for ourselves. It is a reflection of who we are. But we, as mere humans, are always afraid of change. It's not whether or not you want to's whether or not you can make that change. And you know what? You can. Trust yourself! If you don't move, you will waste precious moments in your life spending time wondering "what if". It will work out if you want it to. Think positive...if you put positive out there, positive will come's the laws of attraction. Good luck and God bless!

Take good care,

Betty said...

Thank you, Lisa. Your words ring true- my longstanding obssession with living downtown has to mean something, after all. Thanks for stopping by and offering your input.


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