Today seems to be a little different from most. It started with a brawl with my child. He was hellbent on finding a set of tiny locks and keys before leaving for school. I should say he was hellbent on Betty finding a set of tiny locks and keys before leaving for school. A very articulate child, he rebuked me thoroughly for having the audacity to organize his possessions.
Early in the morning I'm not at my best, not unless I've stayed up all night practicing yoga, meditation and random relaxation techniques. I usually spend the pre-schoolbus moments desperately scrambling to fill the child's backpack with whatever items he needs that particular day, dressing him, fighting to force a semblance of breakfast down his throat, and racking my brain to figure where Betty has to be that day and at what time. It's not pleasant.
This day featured the additional pressure of having to tear the house apart in search of miniature locks and keys. As one might imagine, my efforts, extreme though they were, resulted in nothing but a wrecked house and an enraged child.
Yet we didn't miss the bus, miraculously, and I heaved an audible sigh of relief as my child boarded the mercifully late vehicle. Returning home, I hauled out my journal and wrote about what I could have done better this morning. Maybe tomorrow I can perform as a mature adult mastering single parenthood.
With temperatures in the 20's and winds to match, the park outside didn't exactly beckon, but I forced myself to layer up and go out jogging. It's so cold here that my Chihuahua shivers inside the house. (Needless to say, his housebreaking regime has gone to hell.) It's the kind of cold which brings tears to your eyes immediately, and makes their sockets ache for warmth. But I jogged, by golly.
Why? Well, for some reason, I started thinking of my soulmate. He'd want me to carry on, and to jog as long as the weather conditions aren't life-threatening. He'd admire my efforts to consult my conscience this morning about what I could have done better.
Every once in a while, usually when the chips are down in one way or another, I think of him. Maybe, I tell myself, if I keep on doing my best with this day, I'll meet him.