Friday, December 02, 2005

My Soulmate's Soulmate

Today seems to be a little different from most. It started with a brawl with my child. He was hellbent on finding a set of tiny locks and keys before leaving for school. I should say he was hellbent on Betty finding a set of tiny locks and keys before leaving for school. A very articulate child, he rebuked me thoroughly for having the audacity to organize his possessions.

Early in the morning I'm not at my best, not unless I've stayed up all night practicing yoga, meditation and random relaxation techniques. I usually spend the pre-schoolbus moments desperately scrambling to fill the child's backpack with whatever items he needs that particular day, dressing him, fighting to force a semblance of breakfast down his throat, and racking my brain to figure where Betty has to be that day and at what time. It's not pleasant.

This day featured the additional pressure of having to tear the house apart in search of miniature locks and keys. As one might imagine, my efforts, extreme though they were, resulted in nothing but a wrecked house and an enraged child.

Yet we didn't miss the bus, miraculously, and I heaved an audible sigh of relief as my child boarded the mercifully late vehicle. Returning home, I hauled out my journal and wrote about what I could have done better this morning. Maybe tomorrow I can perform as a mature adult mastering single parenthood.

With temperatures in the 20's and winds to match, the park outside didn't exactly beckon, but I forced myself to layer up and go out jogging. It's so cold here that my Chihuahua shivers inside the house. (Needless to say, his housebreaking regime has gone to hell.) It's the kind of cold which brings tears to your eyes immediately, and makes their sockets ache for warmth. But I jogged, by golly.

Why? Well, for some reason, I started thinking of my soulmate. He'd want me to carry on, and to jog as long as the weather conditions aren't life-threatening. He'd admire my efforts to consult my conscience this morning about what I could have done better.

Every once in a while, usually when the chips are down in one way or another, I think of him. Maybe, I tell myself, if I keep on doing my best with this day, I'll meet him.

7 comments:

Sideways Chica said...

This morning I found myself procrastinating long enough to tell myself that there would not be enough time for my regular morning walk...until I read your post. As I am in California (where it is not so cold), and no longer have children to force-feed, and zoom off to school, I am ashamed of myself. I sit here drinking coffee, catching up on email, on my favorite bloggers, and getting ready to tackle the workday with no plan for self-improvement.

Thank you Betty. I shall walk this morning because you reminded me of the days (and years) when I did not have time to do so. You also reminded me how much I miss those days of force-feeding and mad dashes after the bus was on time and we were not. Cherish them, for they shall pass you by so quickly.

Ciao for now.

Teri
www.herestohappywomen.blogspot.com

P.S. New article posted today.

Betty said...

Thanks, Teri, for the reminder to cherish these days. I know you're right. I can't imagine how I'll exist, actually, without the mad dashes and force-feeding! When the time comes that I really have time to blog, is it possible that I won't have anything to write about?!

Sideways Chica said...

Back from my walk! Not to worry Betty. We have so much we never get the chance to say during these years that it will all come spewing forth...look at me!

Teri
www.herestohappywomen.blogspot.com

garnet david said...

Betty- those moments of utter chaos, posing for a whacky photo next to the resulting self-examination... That is what it's all about...falling, getting up, falling again, and being able to chuckle at the fact that, so far at least, things are basically OK... that you are able to relishing the cake as you eat it, with crumbs all over your face and in your lap, while you sit there, wondering...

sorry, i'm in a stream kind of mood...

Priyamvada_K said...

I struggle with the same things - tantrums, trying one's best to cope as a single woman and parent, and juggling that with being sane :)

Hang in there!

Priya.
http://priyamanaval.blogspot.com

Shankari said...

Your blog is neat! Even if your house is .... ahem! Came here by Garnet's. Good to find friends here! Guess I'll be checking in more regularly, soulmate!?!

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