I dubbed yesterday "Be Kind to Betty Day". It was one of those rare days when I was off work and my kid was in school. What uncommon freedom! My first inclination was to chuck the running shoes, hit the couch and turn myself over to a regime of bonbons and soap operas.
But instead, Betty's Brain took over and decided that haute health was a better idea. By now I should know better than to listen to that voice...
After depositing the child into his schoolbus I headed for Whole Foods Market. So did most of the population of this city, it turns out. I didn't realize that most people grocery shop for Thanksgiving on the Monday before the holiday. Well, at least I didn't have to stand in the free-range turkey line.
Being a devotee of Dr. Pete D'Adamo's blood type research, I was on a mission to satisfy every single type-A blood cell in my body. I bought up the organic version of just about every food type known to be beneficial for type A blood, and by god, I was going to put it all in a pot and cook it.
I spent a ridiculous amount of money on 10 bags of food, hauled it home, and pulled out the most major extravagance item in my house- my Le Cruset pot. I bought it because it's orange and I thought it might inspire hitherto unknown culinary activity. I've had it three years and this is the second time I've used it.
I filled this pot with my ingredients: amaranth, lentils both red and green, kelp, ginger, carrots, onions both green and yellow, garlic, parsnips, kale, collard greens, apricots, prunes, pumpkin, yellow squash, pumpkin seeds, 7 almonds, tofu, peanut butter, mozzarella cheese, and at the end, miso.
The motley mix emitted a mighty odor impossible to describe. I let it fester for a few minutes, fearful that it might explode.
Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was time for my favorite soap opera, so I turned off the stove, dished out the glittering stew, and, plugging my nose, carried it to the television. It took some time for me to summon the courage, but eventually I did venture a bite.
Mind you, I am the type who will eat anything (despite the dire warnings of Dr. D'Adamo) but this concoction stopped me in my tracks. It may have been the parsnip, I don't know, but honestly, I couldn't eat it. And here's the real coup de grace: the Chihuahua wouldn't eat it. This is the same dog who fishes used tampons out of the trash and devours them.
Be Kind to Betty Day ended with a feast of Oreos.