Sunday, July 05, 2009

betty is not whirlin' right now

I'd like to be, but I'm not. It seems that there's no pleasing me. When I have a lot going on at work, I just want relief- the more, the better. Yet when I actually do have a lighter schedule, I seem lost. Currently my workload is temporarily lighter than usual, yet I deeply resent each extra burden, such as a dentist's appointment, that makes its way into my sparse schedule. Today I came undone over the prospect of attending a 4th of July party, to the point where I ended up not going. What sense does that make?

During the springtime this year, I was enthusiastic about pruning and getting things in order outdoors. I was glad to live here, despite my strong preference for a walkable urban neighborhood. Now, early in the summer season, I am pretty much over this place. The weeds have had their way, and by now the poison ivy to which I am so allergic has popped up all over the place so that it is no longer safe for me to do any yard work. I resent the fact that the roof needs repair and rain now leaks into the living room. This property is small, and there's no place to go to escape the ennui. The weather is increasingly hot and humid. With my central air on its last legs, I barely use it, not wanting to face the bill for replacement, and have had resultant sleepless nights.

My former discipline, flimsy though it was, has gone out the window. Some days I do force an early, half-hearted jog just because I feel even worse if I don't. Other than that, though, I'm just lost, trudging through the hot, unbearable ghost town of my days, hardly even glancing back at the heyday in the rearview mirror.

8 comments:

Lynilu said...

Aww, I'm sorry "it" has gotten to you. Two times of the year are the worst for that .... dog days in summer which take every bit of energy out of us, and long gloomy periods in the winter. I hope you are able to hang in there. Hugs, Betty. Lots of hugs. :)

Betty said...

Dear Lynilu,

The funny thing is, I seem to have positive memories of summer from when I lived in upstate NY. One of my favorite sounds- one that I never hear where I live now- is that of crickets chirping on summer nights.

But definitely, I've noticed a cyclical thing since moving here. Summers are rough! I've never understood it. I've read about the winter doldrums, but not summer... I'm glad to know that it's a known phenomenon, which, presumably, shall pass.

Hugs,
Betty

Big Dave T said...

Sounds like quite a funk you're in to me. Maybe it's the times we live in. I know I haven't planted flowers in my rock garden like I usually do, and now I think it's too late. Once it gets past the rainy season, I say why bother.

And like Lynilu says, we're getting towards the dog days of summer. That's when I just like to find someplace cool and hide from the sun.

Betty said...

Dear Big Dave,

It may be late in the season to plant flowers, but at least you can get cheap flowers IF you find any for sale!

Hugs,
Betty

Anonymous said...

Oh Betty :( I so wish I was there
to help ya out :(
But I do send you hugs...When ever
you need one...
I also wish I could wave a magic
wand...I would make things easier
for all my friends...

LOVE AND HUGS!!!!

Laurie

indavao said...

hi... just dropping by!
http://www.fileafro.com
http://mobileandetc.blogspot.com
http://kantahanan.blogspot.com

indavao said...

hi... just dropping by!
http://www.fileafro.com
http://mobileandetc.blogspot.com
http://kantahanan.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

滿..................................................