Friday, February 09, 2007

exploration

The weather is revolting. The air has been frigid and cruel for far too many days. Everyone's optimism and enthusiasm is icing over.

Yet yesterday, my realtor showed my house to a prospective buyer. Who would buy a house now? As I joked to a friend, no house looks enticing in this weather. That really seems true for me. As I drove through the frozen neighborhood I want to move to, I felt nothing.

Is it also true that in good weather, everything is equally appealing? I expect a buyer to be drawn to my house when spring sets in. Heck, I'll be drawn to my house when spring sets in. And of course I'll also be appreciating the downtown neighborhood........

This leads me to be suspicious of my desire to move. Does the grass become greener when the grass literally becomes greener?

Hope erupts in springtime with the seedlings, perhaps. Even those of us who are appreciative of and satisfied with our lives can hope for even better, right? That seems to be human nature. "Better" doesn't have to mean a different house, but in my case there seems to be a deep-seating yearning for a pedestrian neighborhood reminiscent of the one I grew up in.

Or is this just my way of justifying my attempt to move? Those of us who intellectualize by habit can find ways to rationalize just about anything. I constantly question my decision to move because:

A) I'm insecure.

B) The place we live is pretty darn good by most people's standards, being situated on a gorgeous public rose garden (yet we have to wonder why nobody has bought the place during the 6 months it's been on the market).

C) I'm afraid of making a mistake. I have made past real estate blunders. For example, 6 years ago the child and I DID live in that downtown neighborhood in a beautiful Italianate Victorian. I freaked out over the possibility that gutter repair on that particular house in that historic neighborhood was going to cost $20,000, so I bailed out and moved to where we are now. Had I realized how the value of that house was going to skyrocket, I would've stayed put and gotten a few more gutter estimates. (It wasn't just the gutters. I gave in to criticism from my child's father regarding my insanity for trying to raise a child in an urban neighborhood.)

I keep saying that I am unsure because I don't spend enough time meditating, getting in touch with my True Self. So I'm off to the meditation corner.....

12 comments:

Desiree said...

It's a huge decision so it's no wonder you question yourself. I'm sure the meditation will help!

I can so relate to how you feel though. A few years ago I was offered an opportunity to purchase the home I live in now. I'm a single mother living on a very small budget so this seemed like a dream come true at the time.
It's been a nightmare for me in many ways. I live way back in the woods. When my car breaks down I have to get up at 4 AM to catch the only bus out after walking 2 miles! There's more to this than that but the gist of it is I'm not happy where I am either and I feel rather stuck because I don't have the money to move and I don't own the house yet as the owner held the mortgage.
I keep trying to use my creativity to come up with something but so far money keeps getting in the way all the way around. So I'm stuck here in a place I don't want to be.

I'm living vicariously through you at the moment :-) and hoping to read a happy ending for that will bring me hope too!

Sideways Chica said...

Dear Betty...I felt the need to meditate today, and I did, with a little yoga thrown into the mix. As for not buying when the weather outside is awful - I bet your house is a welcoming beacon of love and enlightenment, not to mention warmth!

As for the wavering...we are allowed to change our minds, and if we don't learn from mistakes, we keep perpetuating them...or we never learn to appreciate what we have.

Having said that chica...I don't think you've made any real estate mistakes and I don't believe you're going to in the future. Because your life is the journey and we become who we are from the journey. You wouldn't be the you that you are today had you taken a different route. And I like the you that you are today. I'm sure I'll like the you that you will become tomorrow too...no matter what decision you make. ;)

Ciao bella...

Betty said...

Dear Desiree,

You've given me something to think about. I am flattered that you are living vicariously through me at the moment! Somehow that gives me courage.

Hugs,
Betty

Betty said...

Dear Teri,

Thank you for such kind words. Over the past 10 years, I've moved 9 times. People tease me about it, but it's been an adventure- my journey, as you say. I wanted to make sure I wasn't stagnating! Your comment makes a lot of sense to me.

Hugs,
Betty

Mike Paetzold said...

Just stopping by to leave a Gazoo for any Blogazoo surfers that stop by.

Kacey said...

Dear Betty, There is the old saw about "To Thine Own Self Be True". If you really want to move (I'm not certain that you do --- from your recent posts) keep heading in that direction. Watch TLC or HGTV's "Designed to Sell". They come into your home and tell you what glaring defect is keeping your house from selling. (like the orange paint in the livingroom or the 6,000 toys scattered around the whole place) They have great ideas and the houses always sell after they do a couple of magic tricks. Don't lower your price if you are not sure you want to sell.
If you are meant to sell --- keep going in that direction until God slams the door in your face. If He slams a door, He will open a window. Just know that whatever happens with the house it is meant to be. If it doesn't sell, wash the windows , look out at the sunshine and be happy that nobody took away your home!

garnet david said...

This whole process is incredibly beneficial to you. Instead of just floating through your life, pretending things are OK when you have deep issues to face, this house decision is helping you grow. You HAVE learned from your mistakes, and you are growing a great deal through this process now. In a way, it's a good thing your house hasn't sold yet, since it forces you to look even closer at what makes you tick.

However, the bottom line is this. It's only a house. Learn, grow, search yourself through the process. That's good for you. But the world doesn't end and you don't necessarily become enlightened after this decision. You'll be OK either way. While that thought may not feed your compulsive tendencies, it can sooth the ocassional agony of the decision a bit.

Betty said...

Dear Kacey,

Yep, I do watch those house-selling shows whenever I can, with great interest. My house has nothing odd about it- no weird colors, no dining room turned into play room. I do wish I could get those designers to come in and work their magic, though, because any house, including mine, can look better. Maybe I should apply!

And I like what you said about staying on track and seeing what happens. I believe the house is priced fairly, and I won't come down because the neighborhood I'd be moving into is very pricey. So I'm just doing my part and waiting to see what the results are, and either way is good.

Hugs,
Betty

Betty said...

Dear Garnet,

Normally, it really IS just a house. But in my particular case, it's more, on many levels. First, the urban neighborhood offers a TOTALLY different lifestyle, one which is non-reliant upon the automobile.

Beyond that, moving there would indicate my willingness to be true to myself to the point of defiance. Nearly everybody disapproves, often covertly, with of desire to make this move. You yourself have tried to discourage me. (And I myself have tried as well!) I am attempting to gather enough courage to actually do this, and I use my blog for that.

And although you refer to me as compulsive, you know better than anyone that I've been raving about moving downtown for many years! I guess I'm not being compulsive about this issue, eh?

Hugs,
Betty

Dana said...

You hardly ever see houses for sale up here in the wintertime. We bought in the winter ten years ago and there were few houses on the market at that time. We had to move because we wanted to be in a house before our baby was born and I was eight months gone already. LOL

Houses look more inviting in warmer weather when the flowers are blooming and the grass is green. Don't you think?

Betty said...

Dera Dana,

Yes, I agree. I bought my current house in April, and it sure looked good then. The weather right now is appallingly bad- the worst I can remember experiencing. Absolutely nobody would buy now!

Hugs,
Betty

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