The weather is revolting. The air has been frigid and cruel for far too many days. Everyone's optimism and enthusiasm is icing over.
Yet yesterday, my realtor showed my house to a prospective buyer. Who would buy a house now? As I joked to a friend, no house looks enticing in this weather. That really seems true for me. As I drove through the frozen neighborhood I want to move to, I felt nothing.
Is it also true that in good weather, everything is equally appealing? I expect a buyer to be drawn to my house when spring sets in. Heck, I'll be drawn to my house when spring sets in. And of course I'll also be appreciating the downtown neighborhood........
This leads me to be suspicious of my desire to move. Does the grass become greener when the grass literally becomes greener?
Hope erupts in springtime with the seedlings, perhaps. Even those of us who are appreciative of and satisfied with our lives can hope for even better, right? That seems to be human nature. "Better" doesn't have to mean a different house, but in my case there seems to be a deep-seating yearning for a pedestrian neighborhood reminiscent of the one I grew up in.
Or is this just my way of justifying my attempt to move? Those of us who intellectualize by habit can find ways to rationalize just about anything. I constantly question my decision to move because:
A) I'm insecure.
B) The place we live is pretty darn good by most people's standards, being situated on a gorgeous public rose garden (yet we have to wonder why nobody has bought the place during the 6 months it's been on the market).
C) I'm afraid of making a mistake. I have made past real estate blunders. For example, 6 years ago the child and I DID live in that downtown neighborhood in a beautiful Italianate Victorian. I freaked out over the possibility that gutter repair on that particular house in that historic neighborhood was going to cost $20,000, so I bailed out and moved to where we are now. Had I realized how the value of that house was going to skyrocket, I would've stayed put and gotten a few more gutter estimates. (It wasn't just the gutters. I gave in to criticism from my child's father regarding my insanity for trying to raise a child in an urban neighborhood.)
I keep saying that I am unsure because I don't spend enough time meditating, getting in touch with my True Self. So I'm off to the meditation corner.....