Sunday, October 29, 2006

revival

I have been busy lately- too busy to do anything except work, keep the child alive and try to sell my house. All that is really more than this whirling dervish can handle.

I am still too busy, but don't really want to give up completely on my blog. I miss the contact with the few loyal readers I had. I don't have any real friends these days, and now I'm even losing my virtual ones.

My house has been on the market since August. It is a shock to me that a house situated on what is arguably the world's largest rose garden is not selling. Yeah, yeah, I know....it's a buyer's market. Always desperate to figure out the hidden meaning of everything and anything, I am wondering if perhaps my move to the urban neighborhood wasn't meant to be after all. But whenever I think of giving up and staying put, I am consumed by disappointment because I still don't believe that it can't happen. I do admit that the urban house I'm eyeing is at the top of my price range, maybe even beyond it, but I feel like taking a risk rather than retreating back into the "same old same old."

My 3 goals (working, keeping child alive and selling house) have left time and energy for little else, and it's catching up with me. Was it Carl Jung who said that "an unexamined life is not worth living"? My life has been that way, unexamined, and I've found myself snappy and irritable. That's not how I want to be.

Part of my problem is that I feel completely alone. I think that makes people behave defensively, perhaps. Since my child came onto the scene, friendships have been fleeting. The one friend who did stick with me, for the most part, has found a buddy he likes better. She often stays at his house, and is soon moving in permanently.

I don't have any business complaining. If the truth be known, it almost seems as if I've lived several lifetimes already. Each phase was a life. In my other phases, I was not so alone. It is understandable that things are different now. How appealing is an overworked, overwhelmed, frazzled single mother who is always working or mothering when others are socializing?

8 comments:

Sideways Chica said...

Ah dear Betty...'tis the season. Not only do you have the normal "stuff" on your plate, but you are selling your house, going to buy a new one, the child is back in school with all that this entails, and then there are the upcoming holidays that seem to slam into us with no warning just after Halloween.

It appears that you know your course...and it is the sticking to it that is difficult. I know...been there, done that. In fact, I'm there right now.

As for the friend you think you are losing touch with...don't let that happen. There is always room for one more (two in your case chica).

Good luck with everything...I am thinking of you and the child and sending positive thoughts your way.

Ciao Bella...HUGS!!!

P.S. Will you be trick or treating? If so, what will the child go as?

Betty said...

Dear Teri,

You are amazing. I was so sure that my blogging buddies had all given up on me, but here you are, even though I hadn't posted for several weeks. I am uplifted. (In case it was not obvious, I'm really in the doldrums.)

If I don't lose my mind at work this week, I intend to catch up with your blog and write more on mine. Thank you for your extreme loyalty, chica.

Many hugs,
Betty

Priyamvada_K said...

Dear Betty,
Have been dropping in on your blogsite silently. Came by today to post a comment saying "are you ok"? Glad to see a post from you.

Sometimes too many things go on in life leaving us exhausted. Hang in, you won't be in this phase forever. It will pass, the house will sell - its a matter of waiting (and dealing with phonecalls, paperwork, yeah I know).

"How appealing is an overworked, overwhelmed, frazzled single mother who is always working or mothering when others are socializing?"

She is appealing to the right people, who can pitch in, help and take a moment or two to share a laugh. Take care of yourself, and your little one - and the rest will take care of itself.

Priya.

Betty said...

You're right, Priya. If I can remember to simply take care of myself and my child, everything else will fall into place, I'm sure. I truly appreciate your loyalty.

My computer went back down into the basement when my house went on the market (it was my realtor's idea) and I decided today that it's coming back upstairs. I have 2 guys coming over later to help with that (the desk is partly metal and weighs a ton!) So please look for more posts, and I'll be looking at yours as well!

Hugs,
Betty

garnet david said...

Betty dear. Your friend who has grown distant is more interested in blogging than any other new friends he's found.

Besides, you know where he lives!! Don't be shy about stopping by. You will only have yourself to blame if you don't.

Also, I've heard he likes food. You might cook up some of that wonderful split pea stew, or gnocci, and I'm sure he'll show up in no time.

BTW, you should be getting a bit more traffic now. I sent a few hits your way.

x
g

jillbeth said...

Hi Betty,
Just happened by for the first time today, and thought I would leave a note of encouragement. Even when we are surrounded by people we can be lonely. Often it's those alone times when we learn the most about ourselves and grow into who we can be. Just keep on keeping on, take it one day at a time, and live for the moment and for that precious child!

Betty said...

Thanks for stopping by, Jillbeth. Yes, I do wonder if perhaps everybody feels alone sometimes, even people who are surrounded by family, friends, co-workers, etc. I think it's a great idea to see those alone times as opportunities for growth.

Hugs,
Betty

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