I hear you

A group of women from my most regular Al Anon meeting have an email list for gratitude. Each day whoever is motivated sends a gratitude list to the group.  This morning I sent a gratitude list in which I expressed  how tired I am of living with this horrible problem of my son's addiction.  I guess a lot of the time I try to put on a good face.  Today for whatever reason, probably because I want attention, I exposed my misery.

I am jealous of a woman in the group.  She is probably the youngest of us.  She has a really great job in administration at a university.  She clearly has recently inherited money as well, and she inherited property in Florida.  She has two teen-aged kids and apparently has a good relationship with both.  She's divorced so she doesn't have the kids all the time.  She's dating.  She obviously comes from a close family since she just had a big ceremony for scattering the ashes of her parents in the Atlantic Ocean.

She has money, she's young, she's highly educated, she's successful, she's dating.  I have or am none of those things, except for a certain degree of success which is NOT reflected in the amount of money I earn (and I'm now financially devastated due to my son's addiction).  So I'm jealous.

Anyway, another younger woman in the group replied to my post.  She simply said, "I hear you". 

I want to be heard.  I want to be remembered.  I want to matter.