summer's end

The Child has been disgruntled. Apparently Every Other Child On Earth has gone on a magnificent luxury vacation this summer. (The Child's Best Friend has gone on four such vacations, I hear.) We went to a local Shopping Mecca's "game room" where The Child could shoot at his frustrations.

I'm not much of a shopper, especially as an unemployed single mother with no child support payments, but this sign made my day at the Shopping Mecca. Ever since childhood, I have been panda-crazy. This ad outside of a Chinese restaurant thrilled me.

In all fairness, Shopping Mecca does go out of its way to placate even the hardest-to-please like me. This frog actually went out of his way to wave at me.

Then he went back to work.

But I can't resist inserting my opinion on Shopping Mecca, nonetheless. This is a "town square" in the center of Shopping Mecca. You see, Shopping Mecca was built to look like a town, a neighborhood. This causes my blood to boil. Why in tarnation couldn't they have built an ACTUAL neighborhood, where PEOPLE actually LIVE????????

Correct me if I'm wrong, and I hope beyond all hope that I am wrong, but is this Pottery Barn supposed to resemble an Art Deco movie theater? I'm sorry, but this turns my stomach. Heaven forbid that there should be a real movie theater in a real neighborhood anywhere in this God-forsaken city that I live in!!! Across the main street where we live, there is an old movie theater which has not shown a movie in decades. Why? Because the huge mega plexes have taken over. Get in your car and drive to the multi mega to see any movie at any time. This Shopping Mecca has, of course, one of these mega movies complexes, located inside an enormous enclosed mall, well-protected from the "neighborhood".

The Child does not understand why I am upset about this. Why? He has never lived in a real neighborhood!!!!!!!!

Doesn't it almost look as if this Cheesecake Factory restaurant is located in a neighborhood? Well, it's not. It's just off the "town square" in Shopping Mecca.

Still, we ate there after reading Loving Annie's http://lovingforyourheart.blogspot.com/ tantalizing review. I had to try the Chipotle chicken pasta after reading her description of it. The only problem was, I was too full to try any cheesecake, after eating only half of my pasta. (Annie did warn her readers that the portions were generous.)

It seems that in my life lately a lot of chapters have been closed. These friends of mine moved to New York City this week. I will miss T's bubbly personality, ever-ready wit and extreme intelligence. I wish them well in the most exciting city I can imagine. They have found a REAL NEIGHBORHOOD there to live in!!!! HALLELUIA!!!!!!!!

This isn't exactly what The Child had in mind when he said he wanted to go on a vacation, but hey, it was a 20-minute drive and offered sights we just don't see every day.

This is a "Where's Waldo" Zoo Edition. It's not just a pile of rocks. There's a grizzly hiding in there somewhere.

But this is always my favorite part of any trip to the zoo- the soothing boat ride through the Indonesian exhibit. I would love to stay on the boat for an endless journey, but it costs $1 for each time around. It ended way too soon.

Every boat ride has its hazzards, though. Just when you start to let go of life's burdens, a snake appears out of the grass.

Back at home, the rose garden offers its sights any time we're interested, right outside our front door, with summer still going strong, probably well into October. Who needs that luxury vacation that all the other kids had?!

The Water Cycle

As you see, the view from my patio chair has been marred. It all started with a leaky faucet. In retrospect, I wish I had just shut up and let it go. So it leaked. Big deal. I try to be earth-conscious, but really. The water recycles itself no matter what we do, no? It leaks out of my bathtub faucet, it pools in the tub, it evaporates, it rains back down onto the earth. It's the water cycle. I could have just shut up and let that happen. But noooooooo........

This is the aftermath of my fateful decision to call a plumber. Good heavens, I'm unemployed. You'd think I could find better ways to use my time than calling plumbers. Most unemployed folks would surely have the good sense to ignore a leaky bathtub faucet. But there's a part of Whirlingbetty which calls itself Missgoodytwoshoes, wanting to do the right thing all the time. A good homeowner dutifully calls the plumber when the faucet leaks, even if she's unemployed.

This is what it looked like after the plumber left. How did I not realize that demolition was part of the deal? I mean, would you expect your tub to end up like this due to a leaky faucet?

Note the holes in the wall way above the faucet- the plumber cut those holes after I said that as long as things were torn up, I'd like to have a shower installed. (It used to be just a bathtub, and I was thinking of resale. How long can I hold onto this house without a job? And wouldn't prospective buyers want a shower?)

Silly me- I thought the plumber was actually going to complete the job! The plumber left it as you see above. Stunned, I called my realtor, who put me in touch with a contractor who is now reconstructing my bathroom.

I was called upon to make a major decision about the tiles. The original yellow tiles are irreplaceable, it turns out. So the contractor had to integrate some other tile color into the yellow theme. I chose the above tan/gray which matched the wallpaper and sort of went with the yellow. Hopefully the finished product will look OK, and the bill won't send me into cardiac arrest.

This guy, whom I encountered in the park outside of my house early this morning, personifies my mood right about now.

Actually, he's just eating, not snarling as the front view implied. Or maybe he's smoking a turtle-sized cigar....

This photo was also taken this morning just outside of my house. It's a senior recreation center owned by the city, built in the late 50's, I'm guessing. It's rather unsightly, isn't it? Well, it's soon to be demolished. That brown and white sign is front of the building was removed minutes after I took the photo. Hopefully the absence of this eyesore will raise the value of my house, which faces this property.

This photo shows my house (on the right, hidden in the trees) in relationship to the soon-to-be-eliminated senior center. The city, ever creative, will turn the site into a parking lot.


This is the view out of one of the floor-to-ceiling windows in the senior center. Soon it will be the view from the city's new parking lot. Sometimes I wish I'd been a city planner....but where would I begin?

And this photo takes the prize, so far anyway, in this summer's whirlingbetty hummerpic competition. Too bad the hummer is a female. This was taken by The Child, who snatched my camera unbeknownst to me and got lucky.

the Muffin Mouse approach

Back in the days before The Child could read, this was one of his favorite books, and I read it to him frequently. I always thought it offered the best approach to life that I could imagine. Muffin Mouse awakens each morning and greets her alarm clock, then her toothbrush right off the bat. "Good morning, alarm clock. Hello, toothbrush." Turn the page, and Muffin Mouse says,"Good morning, clothes. Hello, yummy breakfast." Muffin Mouse is glad to be alive, and greets the mundane with undying enthusiasm.

I can imagine the heyday Muffin Mouse would have with this scene. This is where I sit most mornings, reading and feeding the wildlife.

Muffin Mouse peeks out her window to a sight not unlike mine. When I am in a state of awareness, sometimes I greet The Child when he awakens with reminders of what Muffin Mouse would say. "Hello, world. Good morning, birds. And good day to you, Mr. Mailman."

Wouldn't Muffin Mouse be enthralled to see my chipmunk friend who visits me each morning!

And the hummingbirds fit right into Muffin Mouses's perfect world of harmony, bliss and wonder.

Each day presents an unusual activity of some sort. Muffin Mouse is all about finding joy in life, and constantly expressing her appreciation.

And the world answers back.

past few days

My lifelong quest for a decent photo of the male ruby-throated hummingbird continues. Above, he is poised strategically before dipping into the feeder.

And here, the light is suddenly and inexplicably more suitable, a split second later. But his head is now bobbing for ambrosia.

Following my hummingbird photography session, The child and I walked through the park on our way to the community July Fourth breakfast held in the park shelter house. This rose brightened our walk on a dreary day.


Look at all the people converging on our park before breakfast.

Inside, the community breakfast featured pancakes, sausage links, cinnamon buns, orange juice, coffee and patriotic decorations.

The Child appears more tolerant of all this than he actually is- take my word for it. He didn't eat a bite, and was generally disgruntled. Old-fashioned events like this don't impress him much.

A surprise greeted us back home in the driveway.

For size perspective, here's our guest near The Child's feet. But not too close.

Later, from right outside of our house, one of the best fireworks displays in town entertained us before bedtime.

This one looked like a burst of sunshine in the nighttime sky

The next day, our friend Garnet and I drove The Child to computer camp at a faraway university at which the Child will learn to design 3-D computer games. This is the Child's dorm room for the week.

The Child perches on his bed, taking in his new environment, complete with roommate and parents. The camp is expensive, but I consider it an opportunity for the Child to gather information in his ongoing search for his life's calling. Besides, I had already paid for it before I lost my job.

Jerked Around

Do you know what it's like to be jerked around? If you don't, then you probably have a strong and healthy sense of self, which is what I seek.

This morning I was officially Jerked Around, although until recently I would not have recognized it as such. I drove The Child to his playdate, and upon returning home I found a message on my answering machine. (Yes, I prefer to use an old-fashioned answering machine, because I can add music to my outgoing message.)

The message was from a neutral-sounding woman from American Community Health Insurance, whose underwriters are reviewing my application for catastrophic insurance, which is no-frills health insurance with an extremely high deductible. For the first time in my life, I am uninsured because the organization I worked for has shut down. I now lack income, health insurance, disability insurance, dental insurance, life insurance. I am seeking catastrophic insurance not really to pay for medical expenses, but to protect my assets. All of us have heard horror stories of families forced into bankruptcy by astronomical medical expenses, and I seek to avoid that. I can't afford the premiums for traditional medical insurance for myself and The Child- the monthly expense would be close to $1,000- so catastrophic insurance, with its cheaper premiums, is my only viable option.

Well, the message on the answering machine stopped my heart from beating. I had been worried, because I submitted my application quite a while ago and never heard anything. I was beginning to suspect that my application would be rejected. I was also disappointed, because I had been looking forward to spending some time on my patio interacting with the squirrels, chipmunks, hummingbirds, blue jays and red-bellied woodpeckers. Now, instead, I had a potential crisis to deal with.

I called the number the insurance woman left on the answering machine, and of course I was sent to voice mail. Trying to sound cheerful and nonchalant, I told her voice mail that I was now reachable at the phone number she had called.

Then I waited. And waited. My serenity was out the window, of course, as was my hope of spending the remainder of the morning enjoying nature on my patio. I tried to sit outside and read the newspaper (yes, I'm old-fashioned regarding my newspapers too), but I couldn't concentrate.

Time stopped. I sat there. I paced. I fretted. And eventually the phone rang, an eternity later. My heart raced, yet I let it ring a couple of times so she wouldn't think I was too eager, and therefore suspicious.

She probably wondered why I was out of breath- I tried to mask it, because her insurance company wouldn't want to take me on if they thought I had breathing problems. My breathing accelerated when she informed me that the conversation was being recorded. I covered the mouthpiece of the phone so she wouldn't hear my breathing.

She started her questioning about blood pressure, physical exams and the like. I told her I've never been the type to run to the doctor for every little cough or sore throat- I'm the opposite of a hypochondriac. I didn't even remember the name of the doctor who had done my one and only physical exam 5 years ago, but I did remember that my bloodwork was stellar, and that doctor, whoever he was, surely had glowing reports of me in his records.

After a few brief questions, she was ready to hang up. I wouldn't let her go, though- I felt it necessary to convince her of my worthiness- I wanted her to know that the reason I had applied for the catastrophic policy is because I never needed doctors, never had health problems, never had any accidents, never even broke a bone, and I knew I didn't really even need any insurance, etc. I probably sounded like a lawyer desperately trying to plead my case. She undoubtedly thought I was some kind of nut and wondered how I'd get by without the mental health coverage I used to have.

Finally the ordeal ended. I hung up the phone, vastly relieved. Now I could get back to the life I wanted to live.

That's when I realized that I had just been Jerked Around.

This is a big theme in my life. And it's not about the Jerkers. It's about me. The insurance woman, unwittingly functioning as a Jerker, was simply doing her job and was not intending to harm me in any way. But her phone message had sent me into a tailspin, temporarily turning my life upside down and inside out. I had decided, upon hearing the woman's phone message, that suddenly things were not OK and I was not OK. My life had been ruined. I tossed away my plans for the morning, I became nonfunctional, and gloom prevailed.

During the time between receiving her message and hanging up the phone after talking with her, I was totally immersed in Jerked Around state. And I couldn't see it until it was over.

My goal is to strengthen my sense of self to the point where I am unaltered by people, places, things, or events. When sh** does happen, I want to be the eye of the hurricane. I want to be strong within myself, to the point where I will always be OK, knowing that all is well at all times.

Summer Solstice 2008

This is the scene on my front patio on Summer Solstice 2008. This is where I spend some time each morning, if at all possible, so solstice started like any other day in whirlingbetty world.

Summer solstice has held a special significance to me ever since my high school Honors Physics class, where was first introduced to solstice and equinox. In fact, my NY State Regents exam in physics was held on summer solstice of my senior year in high school, a fact that was not lost on me. I used that happy coincidence as a display of good luck, and I aced the exam. I have been in awe of summer solstice ever since.

This is one of my many Summer Solstice 2008 visitors. Most people never get to see one at such close range- he's a chipmunk. He's very intrigued by my bag of peanuts, and apparently, by my camera.

You have to look closely to see this hummingbird at my feeder. She's a ruby-throated variety, which her male partner (not pictured) makes obvious.

The Child has not yet reached a stage of life in which he's satisfied by sitting around observing nature. Alas, it's the toy store that holds allure for the likes of him. He wanted to check out their selection of "marshmallow shooters." (I'm not sure if the marshmallows are the intended targets or amunition.)

Not being much of a shopper, I always postpone the acquisition of groceries until the cupboards are bare. This opportunity next to the toy store presented itself on Summer Solstice 2008.

The result of the grocery shopping event resulted in this al fresco lunch back at home. I think that a Summer Solstice 2008 celebration deserves sushi.

Later it rained, lest Summer Solstice 2008 become too hot and unpleasant. The temperature dropped to a very pleasantly cool range. The park outside of my house, pictured above, emptied itself of visitors once the rain started.

The day was capped off with a feast of corn on the cob, which has been my favorite food since early childhood. The Child and I ate it while a fairly significant thunderstorm carried on outside.

Even though we were unable to appreciate the length of the day, due to the evening storm which darkened the skies, it was still a fitting end to Summer Solstice 2008.